Ep31: The Power of Human Connection in Commercial Sales with Alex Smith
Unlock the secrets of successful sales with a human touch! In this transformative episode of the Human Wise Podcast, Alex Smith, a super sales leader and Senior Account Executive at Docebo, dives deep into integrating humanity within the commercial world. Discover how empathy, trust, and authentic connections can redefine your sales strategy and why everyone is inherently part of the sales process—across all professions. Alex shares his Midwest upbringing influences, the importance of being more than just your sales numbers, and how to balance commercial pressures with genuine human interactions.
We explore his compelling journey from journalism to sales, and how a mindset shift can transform your sales approach. Learn about the art of facilitating relationships, asking the right questions, and why your role is more than hitting quotas but about making a meaningful contribution. Whether you're a seasoned salesperson or someone discovering your hidden sales skills, this episode offers invaluable insights into creating authentic business relationships that last. Don’t miss out on this captivating conversation that proves the heart of successful sales lies in being human.
Topics Discussed:
Building trust in sales
Managing resilience in sales
Balancing commercial pressures and human connection
Importance of empathy in sales
Effective sales strategies
Timestamps:
00:00 Human Sales Insights with Alex Smith
05:37 Misconceptions About Salespeople
07:43 "Being Human in Sales"
12:30 Understanding Unspoken Communication
15:51 Becoming an Effective Facilitator
19:37 Mindset Beyond Sales Quotas
21:03 "Contribution Over Goal-Oriented Mindset"
25:41 Transformative Self-Reflection Process
28:08 Focus on Self-Care and Identity
32:36 Authentic Conversations Without Self-Doubt
33:33 Philly Conversation Starters
37:56 Magician's Human Connection Tips
40:50 "Who Do I Want to Be?"
About Alex Smith
Alex Smith is a Senior Account Executive at Docebo and the host of the "Sell By Being Human" podcast, focusing on human skills and understanding in sales, emphasizing empathy and connection to drive success.
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Ep31: The Power of Human Connection in Commercial Sales with Alex Smith
[00:00:00]
Introduction and Guest Welcome
Helen Wada: Hello, and welcome to another episode of Human Wise. I am delighted to have Alex Smith with me all the way from Florida. On the other side of the pond, Alex, I think it's probably a lot warmer where you are than it is where I am currently in. In the middle of London when it's freezing cold and and quite dark, but Alex delighted to have you on human wise after our conversation in 2024 on your very own podcast sell by being human.
And I think it says everything in the title. That's how we connected. We both passionate about being human in sales and actually as a super sales leader as a senior account executive for Docebo. Over in Florida and in the U S really coming from sales as first principles. And so I was really curious to, to get you on this show because I talk a lot about being human, but actually what I'm really curious about is being human in [00:01:00] that commercial world.
And so really delighted to have you on the show and to hear what you've got to say.
Alex Smith: it's, a pleasure. I'm really
looking forward to this conversation we we definitely. Think about and believe a lot of the same thing. So yeah, really excited for the conversation.
Helen Wada: Amazing.
Getting to Know Alex Smith
Helen Wada: And so tell us a little bit more about, given we're talking about being human, tell us a little bit more about Alex. Who is he for our listeners out there?
Alex Smith: Yeah. Who's Alex? I like, I always like to think like what other people I've, actually done this. If any of you
are kind of curious, like really diving into such a big question, who are we asking other people, closest people in your life, like simple questions like, what do you think I'm good at?
What do you feel like when you, when I'm in your presence, like know, do you think are some of my superpowers and things that.
And I just think I'm somebody that comes from
a Midwest background in the United
States for all of you
in the UK, the Midwest Omaha,
Nebraska is smack dab in the middle [00:02:00] of the United States.
So a lot of people
Helen Wada: Is, it more slap that in the middle than a Columbia, Missouri, which is where I spent a semester working for
Alex Smith: It might be more, in the middle of nowhere than that, but you know, it was a city. A lot of people think like an hour outside. Yes, there's cornfields and big
planes and people are like, are there any buildings? Like, where is that? Like, they don't even know where Nebraska even is.
I, grew up in a suburb and grew up in a, in a family where both of my parents really taught,
Just kindness for other people.
My father worked all over the world, worked in Africa. So very much a humanitarian global citizen. So
always thinking about other
people and they're just a warm, loving household to grow up in. And a lot of those
values kind of
suck with
me. So.
I like to say, like,
if you think about me, like one sentence describe me, like, I just care relentlessly, like
I strive relentlessly.
to to care about [00:03:00] and And that sounds hokey and woo and
that sort of thing, but like it just means like, when, I'm with you,
like, whether i meet you at a starbucks or if i'm just
I met
Helen, I've only known
for you know since last year
but like, I'm really trying to make
people feel like alex is trying to get to know me get to understand and listen to i'm
somebody that really is curious about people. So I'm somebody that my, my wife might may hate it, but like a random person in the airport, you know, we might have a long conversation with, and feel like we're so much more
connected in the world. I'm
just really interested in
people's stories. Like, so I guess in summary, I'm just, I am somebody that is. is really curious
And wants to get to know as many people as I possibly can. And then I also love I also love sales. I love, like creating chains, shop, solving big problems and that sort of thing. And that's what I do today with I [00:04:00]
Helen Wada: Amazing. And I think my kids would have the same sort of things as your wife. Every time we walk into the center of our shopping center, they're like, mommy, have you met another person? Do you really need to talk to these people? And I'm like, it's really nice to, who's that? I asked, But getting back to that sales piece, because actually that's one reason we're here to have a conversation and.
The Essence of Sales
Helen Wada: I'm curious, what drove you to a career in sales? Cause you are a professional sales person you live and breathe sales and I work with a lot of people that have to come into sales because of what they do, but actually that's not their bread and butter, but this is something that's really your bread and of years.
Alex Smith: I would think first off yeah I don't remember when I wasn't in sales. And I wanna make the caveat that,
first off, I
think everyone in
the world and that's why I have
this podcast, everyone in world, I don't care if you're listening
to this in your graphic designer, if you're a doctor, if you're a teacher,
if you
are a an [00:05:00] IT Specialist, I
hate to break it you, but you are in
sales and what
I mean about sales is like
I just defined it as. Like sales is just
the process of trying to influence change in some way, right? Sales is all about It's about solving problems, right? If there's no problem, there's no sale, right?
If somebody doesn't really. Have something like that they're trying
to get better at solve a problem
if they're not trying to help see in the future and try to prevent certain things from happening there's no, reason for a sale to be made.
Right. So I
think lot of times people
Have a misconception about sales. If,
asked everyone, like everyone that's listening, if you're running, if
you're just there, like close your eyes and
picture a
salesperson, what are some things that you see?
What are some words that you would describe?
maybe see the used car salesman, maybe you see someone in a suit, maybe you see a telemarketer, maybe you see somebody in Mexico or something trying [00:06:00] to
Shove silver at you or throw maybe someone at a mall kiosk trying to stop you or someone trying to sign you up for a petition.
to donate money, right? All of them are sales.
but, I think think of sales as this, pushy self serving egotistical kind of thing.
And I really
think it as, a a way to truly understand a person. you know, I usually like say my understanding strategy is my sales strategy. So I'm just I love to talk to people. I first started my career like I went to school for journalism and PR and I always like different forms of communication, love to read books. And this is just kind of an extension of that.
It's just a different way to go about it. But yeah, I think yeah. You know when people feel like seen heard understood they feel it's just about the feeling that you're trying to transfer someone because i've heard sales is kind of the transfer of. Emotion transfer of energy right somebody is like oh wow that person believes alex believes [00:07:00] truly.
In what is you know trying to pitch me and he is really trying to truly help me i don't think that there's like some. he's not selling me something I don't need or is all for him. I just feel like he has my best interest at heart. That's what I'm trying to do when I'm selling.
Helen Wada: And it's that reframing, isn't it? It's that reframing of, what it actually is. And I love that where you're talking about that transfer of emotion, because for me, that gets into what's the title of your podcast, where I'm coming at human wise from is like, there's sell by being human and what I think we both passionately believe is that actually we can be authentic and be commercially focused.
And I think that's. One of the challenges in today's world is that for me, it's that sort of, it's either one seen as one or the other, but actually for me, is those very human skills. And I know we'll come onto this from your [00:08:00] perspective, but it's just about being human and taking that to the next level.
So, so what does it mean?
Human Connection in Sales
Helen Wada: And, I often ask the guests that come on this, so what does being human at work mean to you? But I think. different slant what does in sales to you?
Alex Smith: Yeah,
There's a lot of one in one in the same,
And it
is. First realizing that
We're all people that are more alike than not we may look differently. We may. Maybe show up even differently or act differently, but we all have these basic human needs at our core, right?
We all want to feel safe. We all want to feel, loved. We all want to feel connected to our family. We're all dealing with things like we all have the like
we all have the ability to process the same emotions,
Yeah. Right. Joy,
laughter.
Sadness, [00:09:00] grief,
despair, like frustration.
Those are all like human emotions that we
all have the capability
to have.
We just have different stories of how they play out.
So I think being human in sales is first realizing that we are dealing with
another human being and how can we make that human being feel an experience that
they
They feel like we recognize that in them we recognize their humanness, we recognize who they are, and we do that through the questions we ask the way we listen, the way we
create this experience for them.
and that's the same if you're at work with someone because you
are selling someone
at work maybe to listen to your idea you are you know you know hopefully you are building a team if you're a leader you want to work you and that's the you know
when those people feel that they get one of the best things you can get in work or in sales,
and that
is one,
you know specific word and that [00:10:00] is trust know that is when you that then people want to have more calls with you they don't feel like you're.
I think
people confuse like commercial
Business with
personal or getting a person they're not one or the They're, they're, in a way,
Helen Wada: it's, it's as much that personal aspect as it is the professional aspect. And I think sometimes, can be great at building those relationships at a personal level, but actually thinking about business relationships, yes, there's a commercial angle, but actually there's still people at the end of the day.
And I think we can all relate to situations where. Either it's gone right or things haven't gone quite so well.
Navigating Sales Challenges
Helen Wada: thinking back to your career, I'm sure there's been some stories where you've gone, Oh man, did we do that? Or what do we go for? What, What's been your biggest learning experience in your career?
Alex Smith: man, I have them
daily[00:11:00]
Ellen.
Because the reality is, if you're in professional sales, you're taking
so many at bats, we call them that you're going to hear
Helen Wada: You call them what? Sorry. I missed that.
Alex Smith: at bats, like a baseball. Like I'm coming up to the, to come coming to bat, to hit the ball.
Helen Wada: to bat, right? Okay, We're just translating the language over the pond.
Alex Smith: Yeah.
Coming up to bat. So, because I have so many times that I may be meeting with people to try to sell them something I'm going to have
more times than. People will say no to me the night that say yes to me, right? I'm not like, I'm not God's gift to sales and everyone's buying
everything for me.
I'm just, I'm a person that as a guide
And I'm, just trying to get to know someone and tell them, hey, here's how we can fit and align to what you're looking to do. It's really that simple. And at the end of the day, I don't decide if something is a fit for someone.
I can [00:12:00] only
show
them options recommendations, of day, they decide. And so that's that commercial aspect. So I think like the biggest learning
I've had
Situations where,
You, you can't
tell
necessarily like the unsaid things people like aren't willing to say to you because they don't want to hurt your feelings or they don't they want to hold their cards to the best or something like that.
So I think you
That's just a general theme. I'm just going to kind of roll that up into general themes and I just that's. That's just kind of some of the biggest things I've learned is people are, they, don't
like, because they're also
human they, don't want to sometimes be direct and
tell you what
you need to hear.
And if you knew that prior to like the decision, maybe you could have influenced it differently. So like,
I'm always trying to
pick up on like, like things like. Hey, like you made this comment, Can you [00:13:00] elaborate on Or it seems like when you made that comment, you were thinking this, am I wrong, or like, it seems like when you did that, like, this was what I usually see happen.
Is that where, your mind's going to
like, just trying to kind of think a layer deeper
than what you're seeing is some of the biggest things. Cause I've lost so many deals where, you know, a buying team, there was just a lot of dynamics going on the backend. And I just wasn't privy to that.
And I couldn't under, didn't, I wasn't, I guess aware enough where it has the right questions enough to really fit try to see if I can get that out. And that's happened in so many this podcast isn't long enough to tell you all the stories about that.
Helen Wada: think, I think that picks up on something that in today's world, there's the buying decisions are often made not just by one person, but by multiple people. And so, so number one there's, that there's recognizing that you're not [00:14:00] just talking to one person because they're all human beings, but you're talking to a collection of human beings.
That all have different data points will have different perspectives and all have different priorities in terms of what's important to them and so number one, it's actually, do you know who the right people are in an organization that you're talking to?
and then you touched on that language kind of, it seems like it, I'm noticing it's sensing what's going on for the customer, not just kind of going in and I've got something here.
Well, yes, you have, but ultimately it's not your decision. It's the decision of the other person. And so you're, almost facilitating a decision by creating insight, sharing and creating trust and rapport in the hope that ultimately there's a connection there that you can collaborate, you work together and if you want to call it, you can have a sale at the end of but ultimately it's creating business relationships.
Alex Smith: [00:15:00] Yes. Yeah. A hundred percent. I think you used a perfect word and that's facilitator. And I think like, It's It's not a bad practice to just think of yourselves as that role, like
take
sales out of fine. If you really don't want to use that, you think sales is an term or that's not what I do.
I'm an account executive. okay, fine, but just think yourself. Like again, close your eyes,
a facilitator, like show up to your next meeting. It's like, what would a
facilitator do, in this situation, facilitator would be like, Okay, like what teams have to be involved in this decision?
What agendas? uh, What
priorities do they have?
How are they different
from your priorities? Um, thinking a couple steps ahead. Like, what are you? uh, How will make this And what happens then? And what happens then? And have you done this before? And what different things have you done
in the past
to make a all those different things. Are, you know, making your brain [00:16:00] think of like actions to do
in that role because that's what you do sometimes people say i'm not in sales and this is good for you because i know this about your background i'm not in
sales. I'm a consultant. I remember you said you started out as a consultant and you said I'm not, in sales.
I can't do that. Those are for the sales guys. But what you were actually doing is excellent. At sales, you were just doing it in a different context
As a consultant, that's the best. Salespeople are sometimes come from consulting because they, know how to business and, make someone feel like they get to know them. And now you're doing it with what you do and your, business today.
So it's all kind of one and the same, but kind of thinking of it, of what, is my in this is I think useful. Yeah.
Helen Wada: What
is my role and what is the bigger picture? Often help people to get to something we're doing in coaching, I talk a lot is about sort of systemic mapping it can sound quite complex, but actually [00:17:00] what it's really about is taking time to step back and thinking what's going on.
Who are the different people? what Are the macroeconomic factors? What are the competitive factors? What, what else is going on? What, is the landscape? What might the blockers be? What are the enablers to help them and to help you? And I work with people to help them encourage, to think about that bigger picture, to say, it's not just all about you.
It's taking that bigger picture approach to, where you're going and what you want to get to. Um, on both sides, we were talking before we kind of came onto the cord about
Sort of
commercial pressures, challenges, targets, which are all very closely associated with sales.
Balancing Commercial and Human Aspects
Helen Wada: How do you manage that with the human factor?
Because the human factor is a long term game. It's investing in trust. It's investing in relationships. It's creating insight on the back of those [00:18:00] trusted relationships, but there is a commercial imperative that. Know, whether you're in account executive or whatever, there are targets there that you're trying to drive towards.
And I'm just curious how so by being human how we can help people to think about managing those two different pressures really, because they're they're two sides of the same coin, but in some ways they, kind of clash a little bit
Alex Smith: Yeah. Yeah, they do. Absolutely. I mean,
I think where people I've seen salespeople have
frustrations and they've even some of the best salespeople I've ever known. They've had some hiccups and that's
around when it is when they are so
focused on getting to a number or they are so focused on their goals.
Let's call them goals like a number. Like I have to get to this number by a certain date or I'm not successful, right? And I think that's just like in anything like that's a tough [00:19:00] place to be when it's either
like
Either succeed and get the goal
or I don't and I'm a failure right but then you lose all the things that you've learned along the way so like instead of you know thinking
You know
solely just on goals which I do have like different targets yes I have a quota and I have to hit a certain number by a certain date and that's you know but that's my company's quota that they're putting on me like I have the ability to put my own quote unquote quota or objective on myself so it's like.
I know,
These are the
things that like there's a system for myself to like show up and to do really well, and maybe those are the tactics that I go in and I say to myself and I think like a lot of work in sales or anything you're doing is really like the mindset and like telling yourself like I am not my number.
I am more than my worth is not tied [00:20:00] into my number. I think that's really key. Like what is your worth?
Your worth
is not like just your goals. Yes or no. My worth is like what I do every day, how I want to show up again, how I want to go to these calls, right? So
first
off thinking there is, good.
And I think then also thinking about, I want to make a contribution. So what are the ways
that I can contribute to this? There's a really good book and I'm I'll give it to you. It's called the art possibility. So it's kind of out of, a goals first mindset of like an either or I either get to the goal or I don't.
And it's thinking yourself as a contribution. How could I can I contribute? And that could be in so many different ways. How can I contribute to this call? What do I know? What is my expertise? What could I what resources can I give them all these different things?
Cause like, if you think of yourself as that,
like, the numbers can come. will come on
the back of that. [00:21:00] But then like there's infinite
things that you could do to become a
contribution versus,
oh, I either get to this number or I don't, and I'm a failure. And then you don't like get what did I learn
throughout this? Like, even if you didn't get to the number, what did I, how did I become better? Have? what did I contribute? When I look back, I look, Oh, I to do that. was able to do that. So those two things, thinking of yourself as contribution and then also thinking not tying your worth to a commercial number. CFOs may be like, Oh, he didn't just say that I need to make money. Yes I get it. We need to make money in business, but like how we
decide to, how
we. Make money
Is, important. Cause could burn out while making money. And like, I've seen, you probably know,
you've seen people
Helen Wada: Oh,
Alex Smith: goals in business and make tons of money,
but they're miserable,
Helen Wada: Or worse than that as they're sadly no, no longer around or the, [00:22:00] Health health kicks in or something then actually, and we know that burnout drives tries pressure drives inability to focus worst off they kick out. And actually going to go down that rabbit hole, but actually there is something in it that says it needs to be sustainable.
And so something for me I'm writing this book at the moment that is about sustainable success.
And I think that sustainable success is really important about controlling the controllables. I think which is what I've just heard there from you. It's like knowing your work, how you show up, control the controllables offering.
What can you do influence? What can you do to support? whilst you may or may not make that, goal that year. If you're driving a bit like you were talking about somebody else where you said it drives them towards the wrong behavior just to make a number, [00:23:00] then actually you're not doing you're not building trusted relationship.
And actually that won't help you in the longer term.
Alex Smith: Yeah. Yeah. ano, you're actually making me think like another part of that book
The Story of Benjamin Zander
Alex Smith: is just thinking of so there was this story
where the head of
the Boston Philharmonic Benjamin So it's a beautiful written book, And so it's
written by, you wouldn't think
like this couple exists, but this guy is
a a composer and his wife
is a psychologist and it seems
like a very weird couple.
Like he, if you know anything about really professional violin
concerts.
these are very goals driven and you have to like work
for this many hours. And The, that has
to be played this precise way. And they're like drill instructors. Right? That's like the.
Helen Wada: and commitment.
Alex Smith: it's the image of most like conductors.
Most conductors are very like rigid and do this or else. Right. And he was [00:24:00] that way for most of
his career.
And he, taught
at like Yale or something like that. This, or this really prestigious music School in, Boston kids were the best of the best violinists.
Right. come in and they're so nervous. They're like, they're playing, but they're not
like they're playing the song
but it's like robotic. It's not like. This beautiful free melody, right? I don't know a ton about music, but
we know like he, he can hear it
when someone's just going through the motions versus like just taking chances with the violin.
And
so
The Power of Visualization
Alex Smith: he said, you know what?
what
if I
just
gave all of these in
a, they don't have to do anything. I give them an A upfront at the beginning the year,
but the only, like the one
thing that they have to do to get that a right, they can't just like get the a and do nothing.
They have to write a letter to themselves about what they
did to get that a not like I hope to do
I wish to do,
I want to do it's like, [00:25:00] no, I've already done it.
You've already, we've already gotten the A. So what,
Like you this school to get an E so difficult.
but what. Not only what did I do, but who I
become in the process? Like, what did I to shred? What are, the fears that I had to let go of? What are the the the, just the things that I had to like work on myself, how did I show up to other people?
What are the connections? How did I,
how did my music sound right? Like those
kind of questions, right?
And he puts some of the letters in
the book and they're like, It's supposed to Blow you what these students wrote and they, visualize themselves
doing
those things. Cause I think our brains like limit ourselves to be
safe.
Overcoming Sales Challenges
Alex Smith: And, Like
when we have a number
to hit, we start thinking, and
if any of
you are in sales,
if you've had a number and you haven't hit it, at point, you go, am I going to be fired? Is my family going to eat? It is
Helen Wada: [00:26:00] it's all those negative emotions,
Alex Smith: all in your head, right.
Helen Wada: to spiral
Alex Smith: Yes.
Helen Wada: to impact. The pain that they drive the behavior that we don't want.
Alex Smith: And people can sense that, like you get to be desperate, you do things that cut corners
and like I get it. I've been there too. I've been like
not hitting my number and like
And like, like
what's going to happen, right? But like I've, also had that happen to me so many other times that I'm like, okay, that's not serving me well.
So I need to just think of like, how else I can what can I learn in the meantime? What can I go after? How can I keep going?
Because, you know, that's all I can do. Like you said,
control the controllables. Like, like I have, the, ability to do that. And
I, I was like, Think that my
clients they're looking for me to do that there.
I'm responsible for giving them
this experience. So if I'm showing up
desperate or trying to rush
the process or [00:27:00] whatever, then that only just will continue me going down this, bad path. So it's not easy to do. I get it. But just thinking of yourself as like. I have the capability to do these great things.
Like if I was to be great at what I did or be at the number one of the leaderboard, what would that look like? Who would that person
be? And then write
that down, write that in a journal, think about that and refer back to that when you're having bad days or whatever. And then say, okay, you know what? I'm not doing that.
I'm not doing those things that I visualized myself doing. Let's go back to doing some of those things and watch as things start to change for you.
Helen Wada: And I love that. I think it's that, who do I want to be? Not just what I want to do. And that's come up as a thread through the conversations with, on other podcasts in terms of it's not just a transactional analysis. It's it's more than that. It's about who you are as an individual. And that includes nourishing yourself includes looking after yourself because we can only show up[00:28:00]
as, excuse me, as our best.
If we are looking after ourselves and if we are clear in our thinking when we're going into conversations and if we're taking good care, because it comes back to that sustainability piece.
Sustaining Resilience in Sales
Helen Wada: This is a long game and, you have to keep going and, work is hard whatever, industry you're in.
Right. We're all doing a lot. We're managing a lot, both at home and at work. And there's something that's really important we build resilience through this being at work?
Because I think that's something else super important from a sales perspective is how you keep that resilience of keeping going.
Alex Smith: Yeah. I agree. I think what I've what's worked for me is
like,
I'm always thinking about like, know, I've arrived. I'm not there. I want to keep going. And so to sustain, like you, talked about it, like, sustaining, [00:29:00] this process.
It's realizing that like, in your life, there's way worse things will happen to you than losing a contract or a customer or something like that.
It hurt and that sort of thing. But I always think like, learn like I'm just I'm focused learner. A lot of times
people use the term Oh, i'm a lifelong learner i'm always wanting to learn yes i think if
you're not learning,
you're not growing you're not growing dying
but like think of yourself as a focused Like I want to learn every time I
have success why did people buy from me what happened what was that look like you know that sort of
thing. I'm sure you clients
that go yeah
you know, maybe you ask
that like hey just.
What, do I bring to the table? What
did,
It's
kind of a kind of uncomfortable conversation, but you know what, like
your customer
will respect you.
because it'd be like, Helen wants to get [00:30:00] better. Right. And and I might refer people
to Helen, like Hey, like one, what are the,
What are the, some of the reasons why you feel like the success successful, what if anything, could I do to get better?
I'm always trying to, you can come with it.
Like I'm always trying to get better. In, my process and they'll give you stuff and same thing when I lose. I'm always like, hey, I know we're not a fit for everyone I know, I don't know if you have time, but like it would mean a great deal to me. We learn from every time we win and every time we lose. Like what kind of led to this decision and just take your whole process like the, you, you, you
get resilient
when you just realize it's
not a loss if you're learning
it's a right now, it's a, know, temporary
fail, but it's not a failure if You're treating as like, Oh that's an opportunity for me to learn and get better for
Helen Wada: I, I [00:31:00] think that's absolutely right. And I think some of the biggest pieces of work that I've worked on maybe were not that first immediate success, if that's what you wanted to
cry. But as actually the world is complex. The problems that we're all solving for each other for clients are challenging.
And so actually sometimes that first bit may be because people don't necessarily know what they're after. It's not necessarily on your side. It's on their side as well. And a, that goes down to how are you scoping something? How are you getting the real problem Because if you're not solving the real problem, the nobody's And then staying close and that, that importance of. Keeping those going and being interested in being, not just somebody to sell to,
frankly,
and that, that comes back to the humanity piece, doesn't it? And how do we bring being human much into our processes [00:32:00] Of selling doing business.
Building Human Connections
Alex Smith: mean something like a. Take away for folks to just to try something really small is like. I think
a lot of people
think that if you talk about yourself
It's self serving in a way,
or like, don't want to, I don't want to come across as egotistical or something like that.
So I just, I
asked people how they're doing and if someone asks me, just
go, I'm great. How are you? And they just punt it back to the Right. sometimes I I do that, but like I want to practice a couple one liners that I could say, I'd be like. Helen, actually, I'm, it's, been a rough, like, of weeks.
I've been on the road. I've been on the airplane every week. And it's been kind of wild. I was in Philly. I was in Napa. I was in Las Vegas. So it's been a lot. And I just gave you a lot of different things there. You know know, you'd be like Vegas. Tell me about that. I was in Vegas [00:33:00] No, or Philly, like, why were you in Philly?
Like, and you might give
people something about you. Just a little bit about you. You Don't have to talk about yourself forever. But in business, like I think people go, I just want to get straight to business. And some people you can read the room a little
bit
Helen Wada: yeah.
Alex Smith: very critical.
But like, if you give them a little bit, they'll be like, Oh, that's
great. You were in, you that and they won't say but some people like, oh, my God, I was just in or tell me why you were. and then you can kind of have this conversation. And then all of a sudden you saying I was in Philly comes into a conversation of Eagles and football and how we're I'm going to the Super Bowl just.
And trying to afford how to mortgage my home for tickets.
and my wife is
Playing a roulette with the hotels are godly expensive. they were in Paris, like me and Helen did
before this conversation at play, so,
Helen Wada: And it's finding that common connection, finding something that is of interest to them, even [00:34:00] though it might not be your the most that connection point so that you can connect to this human to human level. As we're moving forward
What What else haven't I asked you about your wise and wisdom?
Insights on selling by being human. What else would you share? Top, tips.
Alex Smith: Yeah.
I think
It's first all, like, if you just can just pause everybody that's not doesn't have a quote anything, just pause and, ask, like, what do I do in a day with my kids, like getting them to school quicker, getting them to eat their vegetables or,
Helen Wada: Have you, Have you been in my house recently, Yeah.
Alex Smith: just everybody.
it's just inevitable. We all have to maybe it's you are late for an airline flight and you're trying to get on a flight and someone. It's pausing to be like everyone is dealing with
like something. So, [00:35:00] like, if it's not just about you, right? Like,
Think of those things
that you do.
So that's one, like think of those things
and think of those ways that little ways
you can get to know somebody else. It's just asking a question like. Wow. I it must be a crazy day today at the airport with all these canceled flights, are you having a crazy day?
I'm having a crazy day. Your kids. Wow. Like, help me understand what's going on today. Like, how's things going with with you and sports, your friends and all that stuff. Like, I know, like, Hey,
you you, you probably don't want to eat this.
I'm doing it. I'm trying to, you know, make help you do it.
I don't have kids.
I'm just making this up on the fly,
but you know what I mean? Like, you know why I'm it right is to hopefully keep you healthy and make sure you're, you have some energies to get through your day Eating junk food so, you know, I'm doing this, like, I'm not
doing this cause i'm trying to be stern and making i'm doing it because i'm genuinely trying to [00:36:00] think about you and help about you so i guess just kind of you know as you go through your day like.
how could I help
One more person than yesterday and I could be as simple as just a note text somebody. I haven't texted in 5 years. been about you. It could be a number of different but I guarantee you doing these little things, they will come back to you in ways you probably never even, fathom or consider,
Helen Wada: Even saying I was talking to somebody the other day and we're talking about saying hi to the coffee barista, know, how's your day, just somebody that you don't know, you may see them on a semi regular basis if you go to the same coffee shop, but just saying hi to the person you passed in the ticket office or the coffee barista or the person that serves you in a shop.
If you even see people in shops these days, but it's that sort of stepping out of comfort zone to just be a little bit more curious.
Alex Smith: yes. [00:37:00] Yeah,
And let me just add to that.
high and then
If they're wearing a name
tag, say their name, know
Helen Wada: play it back because that's one thing with my blue menopausal brain is trying to remember names and I hate it because I'm a relationship person. I people,
Alex Smith: Yes.
Helen Wada: do have to play people's names back
Alex Smith: Yes.
Helen Wada: they stick but, ways that work for you, right? To remember people's names.
Alex Smith: On my podcast
I was interviewing a magician and he teaches human connection and
his, process was. You say it a couple times, like you meet somebody a networking event. What's your name? Helen. Helen. It's so nice to meet you. So great
to meet you.
Let me ask you, Helen.
Where are you
from or something like, it's
like, know, and then you're just like saying it back. Like you're
Helen. Am I saying that right? Okay, great. And
it's not like robotic. It's just like, okay, let me ask you, Helen,
Where are you from would love to meet or whatever [00:38:00] like that and so you're saying it a couple of times so just some weird some tactics to
use, but find ways to
Your barista. What's name? Helen. Thank you so much
for the coffee helen can't wait to see you another it's so great to name helen and i saying that correctly okay cool awesome have a good
Helen Wada: is that it's that muscle memory, isn't it? It's committing something to muscle memory that, again, helps us with all our. Connections, commercial relationships, and you mentioned there your podcast, podcast, which I was grateful to be on just at the back end of last year So by being human.
Final Thoughts and Reflections
Helen Wada: And we'll put the link to that in, in the show notes here, Alex, because there's some super guests
that you've had on that
show.
Alex Smith: i appreciate you.
Helen Wada: And some really wonderful episodes that, that I've listened to, particularly the one with the fabulous damping, kudos to you to having him on the show.
maybe one day we'll get him on human And also Erica Kiswan I've since read [00:39:00] her book, actually, about being human at work,
which is fabulous.
Um, and really
Alex Smith: that. Yes, please. Would love to continue
this conversation with anyone that. You can also listen to Helen's episode yeah, I just believe we all
Do things in our lives where we lean on our human skills to, to, sell different things.
And those are being curious listening having empathy and all those things to commercial sense as they do in work as well. And it's been
such a pleasure to
know you. I'm So glad to have found you through LinkedIn and just what you put out in the world. I
think good people your vibe attracts your, tribe, as they say.
So
So
Helen Wada: you. And likewise, I'm not going to repeat, but just say, ditto.
I'm not going to let you off the hook that easily, because I always ask the guests for
one question. Because being being a coach, I love a question. I think, again, we talked about that [00:40:00] in sales, that actually it's important to get under the skin of what people really need for a questioning.
What would be one question is that you'd like to leave the listeners with as we close out today?
Alex Smith: A question for the listeners to, to
answer?
Helen Wada: Question for the listeners to think about.
Alex Smith: Yeah.
I'm
you get a lot of people like
stumped. There's so many good ones I'm thinking, but it's like you know ask yourself, like,
how will I show up to this next call
or How, who
do I want
to be? Right. Maybe as a better one, like, who do I want to be? As I come into my day to day, who do I want to be?
And it's like, it's a question, like I am can journal to myself, but like, I want to be someone who, helps my wife out with what she's doing today. I want to be somebody that is really thoughtful [00:41:00] on calls. I want to be somebody that, builds in a healthy routine, eats healthy and tries to build something small, healthy into and like, you know what
you're doing today, but like, who do I want to be?
It makes you think of. Like the person who would do those things, right? Like a healthy would do what, right? A non smoker would do what a an excellent salesperson would do what, right? Who do I want to be today? And it could be like those different things. Excellent salesperson, right?
But like, and when you think of who do I want to be, then you, then your brain then moves to what are the actions do to support the person that I want to be the human that I want to be, so.
Helen Wada: that. I love that. And I think that's kind of where we opened and how we've got to 42 minutes already, Alex, and the conversations, these could go on for, a lot longer, but you know, I'm conscious of time and closing it out for those people on lunch breaks and running and [00:42:00] doing all sorts, but thank you so much for being on the show.
It's been a real pleasure and I really look forward to collaborating again in the future and hopefully meeting in person in due course.
Alex Smith: awesome. Thank you so much. Helen. Thank
you everyone for listening. is, this was not gonna be the last time we talk, I'm sure.
Helen Wada: I'm sure it won't be. Alright, look after yourself and good luck at that Super Bowl! Ha!
See you later! Bye bye!