Successful Networking: How To Protect Your Energy

By Helen Wada with Sean Hand

For the latest episode of Human Wise, I am joined by Sean Hand. Sean is an experienced Business Development professional who has spent much time writing and speaking about how everyone can become better networkers. He is based in Philadelphia and is a published author and speaker.

To the podcast, Sean, a.k.a The Awkward Networker, brings an in-depth and inclusive discussion around how we can show up as our best, most human selves when networking. Networking is such a vital part of business, and yet feared by many. Sean breaks it down to be less overwhelming and more achievable – for everyone, regardless of whether you are a natural extrovert or prefer a quieter outlook on life. Read on to find out more.

Networking for introverts

Sean: “Some of the best networkers I know, some of the most successful people I know, are self-described introverts…”

This may come as a surprise to those who believe that feeling drained by social interaction presents an insurmountable barrier to successful networking. So let’s explore what it takes to succeed.

1. Pay attention to your energy

In simple terms, introverts gain energy from being alone, and lose energy when interacting with others. For the individual who naturally prefers an intimate setting, busy networking environments can be incredibly draining and require a huge investment of energy.

So, what makes you feel most energised? Perhaps it’s journaling, exercise, or connecting with someone important to you. Whatever it is that fuels you, schedule time for it in your calendar just before (and even just after) a networking event.

Not only does this allow you to show up as your best, most energised self (meaning those energy reserves are deeper), it also works to surreptitiously retrain your brain to associate networking less with anxiety and energy depletion, and more with excitement and enthusiasm.

2. Start small

Sean: “The first thing you have to do is just set the goal, right? What are you hoping to achieve? Networking is this big intimidating word because you don't know where to start. Start setting small, manageable goals for yourself.”

For example, start with one networking event per month at which you'll spend 45 minutes before you make your excuses and leave. The following month, you can aim to attend two networking events (or be open to two networking opportunities) and stay for an hour and a half. The month after this, your target could be three networking events or opportunities, to which you’ll dedicate a couple of hours.

Regardless of how long you stay, it is important to set yourself some clear goals for the networking activity. For example, at these events you might set yourself the target of speaking to just one person, or making two connections on LinkedIn (the QR code feature is now a great way to make that immediate connection). Pushing ourselves outside of our comfort zones is crucial, but this is most sustainable when it’s done bit by bit over a period of time. Trying to make huge leaps all at once might pay off in the short-term, but long-term this approach is not sustainable.

3. Plan ahead

For many people, having a plan in place helps to alleviate feelings of anxiety and allows them to feel more in control. For example, when planning for an upcoming networking event, consider these questions: 

➔   Who is likely to be at the event?

➔   What can you learn about them?

➔   What 3 questions would be useful to ask people?

➔   Where is the event held – what does the space look like?

➔   What is your purpose for being there – what are you hoping to achieve?

Sean: “Some of my most successful friends who describe themselves as introverts have a really rigorous preparation process. So before they walk into a situation in which they're meeting new people, they have to be prepared because they're not a ‘shoot from the hip’ kind of person. There's a really important preparation plan that goes into it.”

This preparation plan doesn't need to be a script that you rigidly stick to. You don't have to memorise a sales pitch about yourself and your business. Sometimes it can be as simple as having an arsenal of three go-to questions prepared. This can be the difference between standing wide-eyed and silent when someone takes you by surprise, and seizing the opportunity to make a potential connection.

Sean cites an acronym that he uses to help people create and sustain the organic conversations that make up great networking.

It’s called WAVE. 

Work, Area, Vacations, Entertainment

This is a fantastic approach to networking. Even if we’re caught off guard or haven’t prepared for a networking opportunity, this framework offers four points of common ground and potential connection that we can explore and begin to build a relationship on.

Asking people questions is a great way of taking the spotlight off yourself. You might just learn something new or stumble across a valuable association. Plus, people love talking about themselves! Especially the extroverts – let’s dive into what networking looks like for those that love to be in a room full of people.

Networking for extroverts

In contrast to their opposite, extroverts usually gain energy from being around other people, and may feel drained – or find it harder to generate more energy – when they spend too much time alone.

Extroverts may also struggle with networking for different reasons. Perhaps they feel that as much as they love meeting new people and are confident they can talk to just about anyone, very few valuable or long-term connections ever come from these meetings.

Let’s explore some ways the extroverts among us can ensure their approach to networking is as successful commercially as it is personally.

1. Delegate what drains you

As a generalisation, many extroverts are drained by tasks that don’t involve interacting with others. Think administrative tasks, follow-ups or organisation. Spending lots of time on these tasks before a networking event can mean that when you arrive, it’s not as your best self. Your energy is your best asset – don’t risk draining it before you get to the event!
Equally, forgetting to follow-up on all those fantastic connections you’ve made can mean they’re little more than a fleeting conversation. You may have found yourself in the past getting too caught up in talking to people and having fun, failing to get the tactical advantage from networking that will be beneficial in the long-term. 

To prevent either of these scenarios, it’s well worth finding someone you can go to the event with – perhaps you could bring a colleague along with you, which not only gives them exposure to the event, but helps you to follow up with connections afterwards. This is a great way of developing the confidence of team members too. A partnership where you have different strengths is often a great way to go.

2. Practise active listening

Whilst the extroverts among us might feel comfortable talking to anyone for any amount of time, it’s worth carrying out an ‘auditory audit’. How much are you talking versus the other person? Who is speaking the most in this conversation? How do you bring it back to the other person (or people)?

Sean: “For extroverts who want to start getting better at being more inclusive and being more of an active listener, work on those pauses and the ‘golden silence’, as they call it.”

Interestingly, Sean points out that hosting his own podcast has been incredibly helpful in encouraging him to listen and ask more questions.

Sean: “It really helps to put a bit of a process and a method around letting people speak and learning more about them and asking the right questions. When you're in the world of developing clients, developing customer relationships and supplier relationships, it's a translatable skill.” 

Whilst we’re not suggesting that all extroverts take this as instruction to start a podcast, there’s some incredibly valuable advice here. Approaching conversations by being curious can help to encourage us to ask more questions and learn from the experience and wisdom of others.

I don’t suggest we all start grilling people on the spot at networking events – the best interviews are as much about a genuine conversation and sharing of experiences between the host and their guest as they are about asking questions. It is about finding some common ground. Regardless, it’s a helpful framework to encourage us to prioritise the people we’re speaking with and gain deeper insight into who they are and how they work.

A human approach to networking 

The best things in life, and in business, are achieved through recognising our innate humanness and collaborating with each other. The connections we build with others are the bedrock of our success, both personally and professionally, and it’s never too late or too early to start building these connections. Truly anyone can do it.

***

For more guidance and support, check out the full podcast episode with Sean Hand here, or contact me on LinkedIn.

For more on Sean, head over to LinkedIn, visit his website, or check out his book on Amazon.

Human Wise releases new episodes bi-weekly and is available on all major podcast platforms.