How To Support Quiet People In The Workplace: Unlock Their Superpower
By Helen Wada with Pete Mosely
On the latest episode of Human Wise, I sat down with coach, facilitator and speaker Pete Mosely. Pete is an advocate for quiet inclusion, a certified tutor with the ICF/Barefoot Coaching, and the author of two acclaimed books: The Art Of Shouting Quietly and A Quiet Person’s Guide (To Life And Work).
We're all familiar with the terms "introversion" and "extroversion", but more often than not, the analysis stops here. It's yet another label we assign to ourselves and to others in a surface-level attempt at understanding.
But what's going on beneath the surface? Why are some people quieter than others? And what is the advantage of not only making room for quiet people in the workplace, but also adapting processes to accommodate different needs?
Half your workforce could identify as “quiet people”
In his work, Pete does a huge amount of study and writing around "quiet people", which goes beyond introversion and into a more in-depth analysis of how different people process information and share their conclusions or ideas with others.
Understanding quiet people in the workplace is central to our exploration of being human at work. According to a study by the Harvard Business Review, introverts make up one-third to half of the working population.
These people bring to the workplace a unique superpower: the ability to observe, listen, innovate and – often quietly and behind the scenes – keep the team moving forward towards a shared goal.
And yet these are the people whose needs are often overlooked or unmet.
Why?
Because the workplace, generally, is a loud, busy, fast-paced environment that leaves little room for acknowledging and encouraging those among us that might require a little more space to think and to share.
A quiet person's place in the business is not only valid, it's crucial. It's important that our teams are diverse and multi-faceted, and quiet people are an oft-overlooked asset.
How, then, can leaders be aware of the quiet people in their teams, and acknowledge their needs whilst still moving forwards without losing pace?
A coaching approach
Pete encourages leaders to consider where the need to do things at such a rapid pace has come from. It's a brilliant question – why do we use how busy we are, how vocal we are, and how quickly we can respond to things as a metric for success?
Pete: “There's a societal bias towards doing things quickly, and it's largely speaking because folks that are on the extroverted end of the spectrum tend to be the people that have been historically favoured by the corporate world. Therefore, the whole model has been created around their style of communication with the expectation that the quieter people need to ‘catch up’.”
In our previous blog, we explored the benefits of a coaching approach for leaders. I am not encouraging leaders to become certified coaches, but rather to consider the benefits of a coaching mindset. To take a step back, slow down, reflect and create more space for everyone to nurture and leverage their unique abilities.
In such time-starved environments as the corporate workplace, everybody is working towards a deadline. Financial constraints and a laser focus on the economic bottom line mean that operations become rushed, highly pressured and often poorly organised.
When we rush people, we risk bad decision making. By encouraging people to pause and consider their responses to things – a coaching approach – we facilitate more balanced decision-making and receive more thoughtful viewpoints.
Think WAIT (Why Am I Talking)?
So, how can we encourage people to take more time to think before they respond? Pete shares with us an acronym he encourages his coaching clients to use: WAIT.
Why Am I Talking?
If we truly consider whether we need to speak in a situation, we might find that it's not necessary. It's not about silencing ourselves or others, it's about making sure that when we do speak, our input is carefully considered, valuable and necessary.
This consideration extends to others as well: how does the person you're talking to like to receive information?
Pete: “It's a question that's asked in coaching at the very earliest stages of contracting with a new client – how do you like to learn? What's your favourite means of communication? Is it visual? Is it auditory? We use that as a basic measure right at the beginning of a conversation with a coachee. But that never - or rarely - happens in an office environment.”
It's incredibly important to take a personalised approach when it comes to communication. A one-size-fits-all all communication style increases the risk of confusion, misunderstanding and conflict.
And it's backed up by neuroscience. In fact, it is thought that “the human brain can process 11 million bits of information every second. However, our conscious minds can only handle 40 to 50 bits of information a second. So our brains sometimes take cognitive shortcuts that can lead to unconscious or implicit bias, with serious consequences for how we perceive and act towards other people.”
It is in these 'cognitive shortcuts' that we run into confusion, misunderstanding and potential conflict.
Pete: “The biggest gift you can give to a quiet person, i.e., 40–50 per cent of your workforce, is simply to allow more time for all of those processes to take place. So supply the agenda further in advance, give all of your team the chance to feed in their ideas before the meeting starts. Have a really good facilitator who... can use facilitation techniques that allow time during the meeting simply for people's thought processes to work in a quiet space.”
Strategies to support, rather than train quieter individuals
Quiet people can be confident, authoritative and responsible. They do not need to be coached, trained, or mentored to be less quiet. And yet often this is the message that is directly or indirectly communicated to them, leading many quiet people to mask or adapt their personality.
Pete: “When you adapt your personality to fit into the workplace, over time you become highly stressed. And if you stay that way for long enough, you simply burn out and any benefit you could offer the organisation long-term simply disappears.”
Rather than succumbing to the pressure to communicate in a way that isn't natural for them, quiet people might try:
Collaboration – Reaching out to other quiet team members to collaborate means that you can speak as "one voice" in meetings or reviews, which can help with issues around confidence or speaking up.
Amplification – Connecting with a more socially energetic team member who shares your values and the things you want to bring to a meeting means they can act as an amplifier. This isn't about hiding behind people; it's about harnessing the innate strengths of team members and facilitating collaboration. Perhaps this person can initiate the conversation and make room for your voice.
When we don't make room for quiet people to contribute, we miss out on a whole raft of data, ideas, input and perspectives from some of the most observant, nuanced and creative members of our team.
In the fast-moving corporate river, it is easy to get swept up in the current. To blame time – or a lack thereof – as a reason for overlooking the need for reflection and introspection. But this isn't just a requirement of the quieter members of our teams – it's also necessary for well thought out decision-making, for business and individual development, and for creativity and innovation.
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For more information about Pete and the work he does, find him on LinkedIn, head over to his website, or check out his books (A Quiet Person’s Guide, The Art Of Shouting Quietly) on Amazon.
Human Wise releases new episodes bi-weekly and is available on all major podcast platforms.